Look ma, no hands! (on massage)

I have raved about Ashiatsu for 15 years. “Save your hands!” I’d cry. “Take a class and learn barefoot massage! Extend your career! Give your clients the deep tissue massage they crave without hurting yourself,” I’d urge.

I don’t do hands-on massage. Ashiatsu barefoot massage is the name of the game.

Last week, a client whom I  haven’t seen in years called me to ask about massage.  “I see on your website you don’t do house calls or hands-on massage anymore,” she started with. Correct. I don’t do hands-on massage, with the exception of the occasional pregnancy massage.

So she scheduled a one-hour barefoot massage at my office for her and one for her husband the following day.

A few days later, she called me back to tell me that she had misplanned, and was there any way I could go to her house downtown (a 25-minute drive) and give her husband a hands-on massage for his birthday?

I don’t do hands-on massage, I protested internally.

But I thought about it overnight and then thought I could suck it up for an hour and gave her what I thought was a ridiculously high price for an outcall. She agreed, kind of to my dismay.

How hard could it be?

I headed off to my first outcall in ages. She’s sweet, and her husband is a nice guy too, and all went well during the massage.

For exactly 27 minutes.

My right wrist popped, in a bad way. One minute later, my right elbow popped, the one I have tendonitis in from my 3.5 years of doing soley hands-on massage.

10 minutes later, the area around my left pisiform started hollering.

Ah, I reaffirmed, this is why I don’t do hands on massage.

That was 2 days ago. I was ok-ish but tired that night (I had done 3 hours of ashiatsu also at my office.)

The next day…

With my online booking system, my new clients are able to fill out their intake forms before coming in. A new client had filled out her form online and had checked the boxes for “osteoporosis” and “recent surgery”.

Because osteoporosis causes bones to become brittle and lose density, deep tissue massage is contraindicated. Ashiatsu is deep tissue barefoot massage, so I can’t do this service on her.

I had seen the contraindication on the form and had emailed her to tell that because it was a contraindication, I couldn’t work on her.  But I didn’t hear back. (Her husband had made her appointment but didn’t give me her phone number.)

In the immortal words of Scooby Doo, “Ruh roh!”

She showed up for her ashiatsu. We chatted. It was her birthday gift, so I caved. I ended up doing an hour of hands-on massage on her.

I don’t do hands-on massage, but I did 2 this week.

Oh, my forearms! They are NOT HAPPY. I woke up today with them feeling achy and sore, like they are bruised.

And this, friends, is just one reason why I don’t do hands-on massage. Sometimes we need to remember where we came from, and I did that in the form of hands-on massage this week.

This was an excellent reminder as to just one reason why barefoot massage is the bomb. If I do 6 or 8 hours of ashiatsu, heck yeah, I’ll be tired. But not sore, not achy. 

If you need to soak your hand or arms in ice water after a day of work, it’s not worth it! As therapists, we work to make other people feel better. Often, it’s at our expense.

Stop the madness. Just learn ashiatsu already. Please, for your sake. Whether you are a student in massage school or you’re an experienced therapist, we really can help you save your career.

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